Now we all know what intercourse means, whether it’s an interaction of bodies, minds or ideas, we do get the general idea that a joining is involved. In popular parlance, intercourse generally brings a picture of entwined naked bodies making hot, passionate love. That however would be “sexual intercourse” and I admit I may be serving up a course in that very direction.
Outercourse has no dictionary definition. It was coined by my husband and a friend in their attempt to describe the cuddling/smooching that may occur in a relationship without actually getting to the crux of the matter. That is the “outer” in the course.
Of course, there are many who are of the school of thought that sexual intercourse is a free for all affair. For those who beg to differ, the question has, is and may remain, how far can we go? How low can we dig? Who draws the lines and how linear should the line be? Should we just hug? Any kissing allowed? How intense can the kissing get? What do the hands do while the kissing progresses? Is below the neck strictly out of bounds?
Fortunately or unfortunately, the Bible does not state in express terms, “kissing not allowed until after engagement” or any other such strictures, but when it says that young men should relate with young women as they would their sisters, I don’t think it excludes anyone because “they are in a relationship”. When the Bible exhorts us unto purity and holiness, I don’t think a steamy outercourse session with your “spouse to be” quite cuts the picture.
I write not because I am innocent of all the charges, but because, it may amaze you to know that God’s standards do not change irrespective of how horny, lustful, emotional or lonely we feel, fortunately or unfortunately. Fortunately because it is a relief to know we serve a steadfast, unchanging God; unfortunate because, oh how those hormones can come like a raging storm. How those pangs and aches come and tear through your soul; how those hurried, harried outercourses, come and go so quick leaving guilt and distaste in their place.
I carried out an informal poll, and the question was, “Is there any married couple that engages in intercourse EVERYDAY?” The answer is an unequivocal, resounding “NOOO!!!” And I am not talking about couples that have been married for 10 years. These are young marriages from 2 months – 5 years. Not one. This sex thing, na you go do am tire!!! E no dey finish o. Lie lie! As long as Jesus grants you life and health, sex is a never ending story. So what’s the rush?
Single folks, there is no rush! “Body fit dey catch you,” but you are strong! You can resist if you decide to. The holy spirit can grant you the backing you need!!!
Someone recently told me that “fornication is an out dated sin”. Please do let us know the sin in fashion these days, so we can keep up with the “sin” trends. Its actually not funny though, but this will be a discourse for another day.
Nobody ever said Christianity was easy.
© 2012 – 2017, Jennifer Nkem-Eneanya. All rights reserved.